On Fire

We make the design in our mind
Dreams that dare to come to fruition in time
The only difference is the details
and if they become a distraction then it’s doomed to fail

It’s true
Originally I did see something special
in the psychos and sociopaths
and the mechanics of their mentalities
and I thought of how useful it could be
if a moral mind could acquire those kind of qualities
Though they’re not the same they have their similarities
Their mindset is severed from the standard of normality
anything they see can be an extension of their mind
even people
and that’s part of the problem that I find
the extension ends there
their minds aren’t tethered to anywhere
severed from a sense of morality
with a warped reality
and their only sense of self is selfishness

but imagine my surprise when I realized
when you take that profound idea and turn it around

When the things we do physically are mentally driven

Our bodies are but extensions of our mind
and our emotions are the spirit’s response of how they’re aligned
making the moral compass point to the existence of us
Instead of just being set on the mindset of me
then what do you get
those that aren’t afraid of being casualties
those that are willing to sacrifice their physical being
maybe even their mentality for the sake of their spirituality
The many martyrs who made a name for themselves in history
in service to the essence of humanity

That’s where I messed up
From what I see
Whatever we decide to sacrifice
it can’t be morality
at least not for too long
It’s too easy to get lost without the compass

Especially when you’re trying to execute some sort of existential strategy
Because if you’re going to try and play god
It has to be done while knowing that nobody is above their own belief
You better be prepared to play as a pawn
of your own contemplation
especially if it involves shaking the foundation of a nation

Power comes from a need
Not a desire
Even if it means sometimes setting yourself on fire
not just physically to be a burning body
but to feel it as deeply as the burn can possible be
Deep into the essence
of spirituality
Morality
Learning to stay focused
Holding composure while it burns

Sometimes I consider myself insane
A Chaotic Kamikaze
Not because I’m crazy but for my desire to deviate from the mundane
Still
Sometimes secrets are safely secured in the stigma of insanity
The universe has so much truth
That of course it could force a few screws loose
Just ask Simon
He who knew who the true beast was
But murdered when the thirst for blood took a turn for the worse
by those in servitude to the Lord of the Flies
The gravity of reality becomes a little heavy
when reason and rationality dies

It’s hard to make things change when everything stays the same
But everything changes in the flames
You can call it chaos if you want but it creates
an amazing phase changing blaze
Which can compel a person to do what
was once perceived as impossible
Suddenly somehow it seems plausible
But when the fuel fizzles out
and the inferno seeks another source to keep going
starts running rampant
Uncontrolled
It needs to be extinguished
With the same necessity as when it was started
The true essence of strength is standing stalwart
while the surrounding settings all fall apart

There’s more to life than love
There’s more to love than life
There’s also hatred
Jealousy
Complacency
Sorrow
Fear
Frustration
Elation
agitation
It’s a complex compilation
but we can choose to have less of one
and have another in excess

Its the cause of us constantly trying to complete ourselves
Because we’re just of a single human essence
Broken up into billions of bits and pieces
Having a few things but lacking the rest
making up for what’s missing by connecting
trying to grow ourselves by investing

We make the design in our mind
Dreams that dare to come to fruition in time
The only difference is the details
and a proper plan
never fails
We only think it does because
our actions are sometimes spurred by distractions
There’s only one thing I know for sure
Keep your mind right
and your heart pure
then no matter what toxic substance manages to seep into your soul
You’ll always be able to find your cure

Love at First Sight

Life will not break you
Only the things that you think you believe in
Like when you watch someone who trains to fight
losing against the one who trains to win
Life will not break you
It will replace you
Using what you have that stays true
Like glue
Rip off the bad
So it can reattach the new

It will teach you
That power is not money
Love is not sex
Respect is not making people sweat for you
because they think you will break their neck

It will teach you
clean you off
maybe even bleach you
Do what it needs to do
what needs to be done so it can reach you

Pain is change
but too often we see cloudy skies along with the rain
But it does rain sometimes when the sun shines in the daytime
That’s where rainbows come from

Pain is change
love stays the same
but when two try to fuse to make one
some things have to be rearranged
But some people don’t like that it’s too strange
It’s too much change
Too much pain
What’s there to lose
What’s there to gain
and they refuse to fuse
Or they’re always fusing
Too much to ever really remember what they were

When you’re in the dark
it’s hard to adjust to the light
and it’s just so bright that you don’t even realize it
when you legitimately see love at first sight
and you get pulled away
by the strain of struggles and strife
The plight of trying to make things right
The long
looong
nights

And these days that are too short
What are we even doing anymore
Is it really the right thing to do
If you have the badge of honor
but you really don’t feel like you
Don’t believe it’s true
is it really worth what you go through
In my most chaotic of days I would have said yes
but with wisdom beyond my years
I say
maybe
I guess

Money, power, respect and sex
Are just the secondary blessings
Not causes
They’re effects
For when you finally find a way
To see love at first sight
every single day

Drunken Apologies

I’d like to take this moment to apologize
to anyone that’s ever been on my side
that I’ve lashed out at
because I’m too afraid to be euthanized
to afraid to fall victim to the truth inside
There are
many times I’ve lied
many times I’ve cried
many times I’ve tried
but to no avail
I told myself I failed
to find the holy grail
that there’s no cure to what ails me
that I can’t be what I say I’ll be
but eventually
you’ll see what I see
What’s thrifty can be wealthy
the things that built me are healthy
secretly
stealthily
The same can go for you too
US
WE
we can fall in love with you too
I gamble
I ramble
but I know there are things
that I know that are true

Perfect

(The lost poem of Chronicles of Chaos and Consonance)

The spirit of God keeps you alive
when all you want to do is to die and rest in peace,
provide peace to the pieces of your person that has fell apart
disfiguring and disassembling this work of art you call you
magnificent masterpiece all the way through
conned to believing that this is not true

Perfection is an illusion
colored by cleverly crafted confusion
Dangerous dream of deception and delusion
fantasy, fallacy, and factual fusion

Collected from the mind of Socrates
these things, these arts, these prophecies
What world? What realm? What place is this?
That the perfect chair, perfect table, perfect human exist?
The epitome of excellence, paradigm of pure
Faultless, flawless, foolproof to be sure
We see these things and give them names
because they are similar yet not the same
Call it a table, the four legs and a top
but what if it had three and yet did not drop?
Still does the job, and does it just fine
Even though it’s different than the kind in your mind
Three legged table is still a table in reality
Could that concept connect with concern to humanity
Different eyes, different hair, different faces and skin
All have Hearts, Lungs, livers and brains within
Different dreams, different thoughts and ideas from everyone
Same Earth, Same moon, Same stars, same sun
Perfect is precisely, exactly the same
as some other thing that has the same name
Perfect is a machine with no fault to blame
Flawed are the humans from whence it came
So if perfect can come from imperfect things
Reap all the blessings that imperfect brings
Take care of the things that are impeccably done
for they’re flawed for not being like the imperfect ones

Titan

I once watched a titan die
Watched him fall from the heavens
through a hole in the sky

saw him and the ground crash and collide
this fallen angel who heaven denied
nowhere to go and one place to hide
a colossal crater so deep and so wide

I waited and watched to see if it moved
saw no sign of motion no sign of improve
spontaneously so, there came an eruption
a violent volcano was my assumption

He rose and he roared as if ready for war
A fury and fire I’ve not seen before
Revelation, Retribution, Armageddon, doom
Vowed to violate and annihilate heaven soon

Threw fists in the air and made the earth tremble
Powerful forces of nature assembled
Hurricanes, Tornados, thunder and lightning
beautiful, breathtaking, fascinating and frightening

shot off to heaven in less than an hour
reached to the skies and lost all his power
once more like before he hurtled to the ground
but not like before
this one hurt more
and made a crater more profound

As the dust cleared and his figure appeared
it was surely an impact more intense than I feared
but I watched again as this cycle repeated
substantially more power but permanently defeated

he lay there in ruin as the time crawled by
as the sun watched him, the bright eye of the sky
no sign was given but it was implied
immortality gone, the titan had died

and then
Restoration, rejuvenation, revival, resurrection
impeccable, purified, pristine, perfection.
Completely renewed,
every part,
every section
A titan alive, rebuilt by correction

A titan reborn with power unrivaled
epitome of endurance, perseverance, survival
granted new freedom without limitation

A juggernauts power was his dedication
ventured to darkness to seize it all
seeking survival where weakest souls fall
Tactful and impactful with changes to bring
A titan once dead reborn as a king

I once watched a titan die
Lose a war to the heavens
and then watched him revive

I Miss Me

I miss me
what I did with these words
how I moved them so swiftly
I miss me

I use to twirl them around
have them float off the ground
they would soar, they would fly
they would rise to the sky

They would dance to melodies so magic it made me…

It made me what?

I miss me

the locutions so lavish and lovely
competing with the clouds above me
forcing them to separate and show me heaven
so the sunshine would inspire them to dance again
they would dance, they would prance,
they would smile to no end
they would meet, they would greet,
they would all become friends
They would all be one nation
my children, my creation
they would form for me a masterpiece
fluently flowing not planning to cease
I and my eyes would swell with so much pride
at the beauty that I had pulled out from inside
but no more
I cannot write scriptures that I can adore
They do not dance as they once did before
they sit and they stare as if stuck to the floor
I went somewhere
I left them there
I feel guilty
My words and I miss me