Prelude (Timeless Love)

My elusive love
Enigmatic and precious
As long as I might live
I will never forget
The first time we met

I had just left the hospital
with a death sentence
firmly grasped in my mental grip
Anticipating a short lived trip
lasting only six months

Supposedly the twenties
are a man’s prime
A seemingly irrelevant concept
considering certain aspects of time

Those were my years
Golden and final
yet I refused to believe it

Little did I know
True disbelief was waiting to greet me
as soon as I returned home
An old and sickly woman
looking far worse for wear
On her hands and knees
sounding like she was struggling to breathe
seemed to be fighting her way towards me
An object in her hand
Something she was indicating
was of the utmost importance

Unbelievably strange
She called me by my name
Not just my name
but what I refer to myself in my mind
when I feel I deserve heightened acclaim
Almost as if
she didn’t know me by any other nomenclature

Under conventional circumstances
I don’t know what I would’ve done
She was dry heaving
Coughing up blood
Bleeding from freshly made wounds
that would suddenly appear
as if unseen daggers in the air
were slashing at her
Punishing her
for not heeding the warning to beware
a moment like the Ides of March
A time which was now upon her

I really didn’t know what to do
but I knew that it would be me
in a similar situation
soon enough

It just felt natural
I picked her up
In spite of her suffering
she looked at me
with the eyes of a young child
whose wish had just been granted
With her last breath
and final smile
she spoke
and I distinctly heard the words
[We die in each others arms]

Even through the disbelief and confusion
I felt
she was somehow
In some way important to me

I turned my attention towards
this object of utmost importance
that she desperately kept trying to give to me
It was some sort of drink
I didn’t think too much of it
until I looked and saw a book
in her other hand
I had no reason not to read it
I presumed she would’ve wanted me to
Such an assumption turned out to be true
As I read
Chills ran up and down my spine
in such a fashion that I was concerned
that it might dance away
from the rest of my body

Dates, Times and Durations
Natural disasters of mass destruction
Mass murders
Disruption of social classes
World affairs
Wars
Inventions
Investments
I would’ve figured her for a historian
or a political scientist
Though the most chilling thing of all
was also the most telling detail about her
Out of all the events inscribed
only one of them had actually occurred
The part where she dies and I survive
This very moment
It was written
Yet neglected to mention how
all sensation had escaped from me
in that same moment
as it ran to join my spine in dance
Wherever they were
My sanity
My ability to reason
The blood from my face
had to be with them

Regardless
I could in no way ignore
the frightening
Endearing
Tragic realization
She must’ve known
she would suffer such a fate
Yet here she is
Her lifeless body
disintegrating quickly
Leaving me
to wonder if
this quest was the cause of her death

Now this object of utmost importance
elevated in status
Had suddenly become
the most vital thing on earth to me
Immediately
and like a madman I drank
It reminded me of another drink
I had once before
One that I was unaware
had fermented and spoiled
Stricken my stomach with sickness
I absolutely would have preferred
such a fetid flavor in contrast to this
disgusting elixir

As soon as a sip of its bitterness
touched the tip of my tongue
I almost spit it out through puckered lips
but for the love of bittersweet irony
I’m sure that if you were to witness this
it would lead you to believe that it had
the taste of the sweetest lemonade
Unless I loss the battle
between holding my composure
and the urge to retch uncontrollably
Projecting all my contents

Aside from the sensation
I felt no different
after I finished
I looked at the remains
of who I assumed to be my late lover
Which at this point
was reduced to just bones and dust
being blown away by an intermittent breeze
At this point
I had some sort of clue
I scanned the list of events
expecting to see when we would next meet
There it was at the very end
I was scheduled to meet her again
yet a decade later
A decade
When not too long ago
I had not a plan
that would extend past half a year
At this I donned on a new fear
Subtle
Yet I wondered
how much longer beyond that
I would still be here

The following days flowed like water
Refreshing
Passing quickly enough
for someone in anticipation
Having caught a glimpse of death’s face
I didn’t have much of a mindset to simply wait
The first year I spent in normalcy
Each one after that was spent in a different country
Decisions were made easily
since I had a list I could follow
At the end of a rather successful span
After bearing witness to the fruition
of every written event
We met again as predicted
She was still old
Still sickly
but not so hastily moribund

We had some time to talk
Interestingly enough
My ten year old questions
had either been forgotten, answered
or lost somewhere within our discourse
Such a sweet and kindly soul was she
She admitted to suppressing the urge
to give in to nostalgia
Regale me with tales of our time together
She said I would find out soon enough
It was a relatively brief encounter
She couldn’t stay much longer than a day
else she couldn’t make it
to the moment that truly mattered
We both knew when that was

I’ve managed to glean enough information
to satisfy my curiosity up to this point
My interest is piqued to say the least
Apparently I’m married
Next year is our 30 year anniversary
though I’m quite certain
I’m gauging this inaccurately
We’ve been together for a lot longer than that
The disgusting elixir that she gave me
saved me
Gave me immortality
or at least a mimicry of it

I will not succumb to sickness
nor die of old age
but I can still be hurt or murdered
I read in a text once
the appropriate term to describe me
is a long living individual
She told me
Like anything else
her mode of transportation
as she so eloquently worded it
Has its limits
The farther anyone travels
away from the initial inception point
the more perilous the process
Becoming increasingly dangerous
until it turns into a fatal endeavor
A truth that I’m sure I bore witness to
Regardless
She would do what she needed to
This way
we both make it out alive
Her words, not mine
It still doesn’t fully make sense to me
I’m looking forward to experiencing
this love
I can understand her already
Out of curiosity
I asked her how she met me
She craftily avoided the question
Though not very skilled
at hiding the tear that escaped from her eye
carrying some painful memory with it
She refused to tell me
or feed me a lie

I guess
I’ll find out
eventually