II. Another Time and Place

Such a peculiar thing
It took me quite some time
to figure out this ring
It seems as if the stones are the secret
and unless I seek to understand myself
the stones won’t share
and the ring will keep it

I can go
to yesterday
to the weekend past
I can visit precious memories
Relive moments that never last
I didn’t have very many
but the ones I did have
I relived time and time again
Each time a little less sad
when they came to an end

I even struck up the nerve
to revisit the times
when I was given far worse
than what I deserve
as a human being
So glad those are long gone
I don’t believe that
I’ll ever feel any other way about it
I must’ve spent at least
what amounts to maybe a few years
Exceptionally vivid nostalgia
I figured
If I’m going to live in the past
I might as well craft some new memories
Focus on the road ahead
meanwhile it unfolds behind me

My admirer
or husband I presumed
Assuming at some point I consider saying yes
said he would need to
remind me of a time and place
when we went on a dinner date
then the ring would find him
As I started to question how
I could reminisce on a memory
that I’ve never experienced
wondering what it would be like
I was boosted to a future that already occurred

It was just us
and a seductive buffet
that he had cooked and catered himself
This introduction
was one of the most memorable moments
I had ever experienced
His demeanor was endearing
I caught myself fantasizing over this man
who was still somewhat a stranger
The sentiment seemed to seep much deeper
than just the surface of my feelings

He said he realized
He needs to be
more open with me
to build a stronger bond
with cathartic release

He opened up to me
mentally and emotionally
A feat of which I previously thought
men were incapable of accomplishing

He confessed of the emptiness
he felt in his life
The feeling of always wanting to be
The desire for numbness that comes
with refusal to connect with anyone
The feeling of defeat
and indifference when he learned
his life would end much sooner
than what he had expected
He said
he just planned on waiting
biding his time
until life slipped away from him completely

A few teardrops
crept down the side of his face
as he lay himself bare
all of his sensitivities to me

That day
I fell in love with his soul
his openness and vulnerability
and though I doubt that it’s possible
I think he’s the one I want to grow old with
I know
there’s much more to this relationship
than either one of us has been shown
I’d love to see more
I’d love to see all of it

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

3. Spending Time