V. Matter of Time


I remember the fear and confusion
that I once felt
when he had come to me
and I didn’t understand
and I demanded answers
and I began to mistrust
whatever secret he was keeping from me

After I told him
how he was going to die
I cried
because the truth may be painful
but my omission was a lie
The magical moments
that he would soon enjoy
were behind me now
I guess it was just selfishness
trying to hold on to something
that I should rightfully give to him
As he gave to me
Or will give
This is still perplexing at times
I feel a pang of pain
as I come to realize
Although this is the man I love
he is not yet the man
in my most cherished memories

Though I sat
Hating myself
for not being better than I am
He leans in and reminds me of bliss
with a most passionate kiss
Possibly the sweetest I’ve ever received
from his lips
Reminding me that our love
and our magical moments
are never lost
Always as alive as we are
verifying that longevity is our legacy
I was in for a rude awakening
after our era of euphoria had ended
I was so eager to return to him
that I forgot who I was returning to
A few short moments for me to be without him
still spans years for him to be without me
I forgot I had a responsibility
I knew what I had to do mentally
but emotionally I was unprepared
It’s a feeling
too strange to call pain
That I will miss him terribly
although technically
I was with him
less than half an hour ago
I don’t know if being with who he was
will help me cope

It’s too much
It’s too soon
I’m nowhere near prepared enough

He assured me
his gift of longevity
was given to him by me
As per usual
I don’t see
how this could be a possibility
but I’m sure the ring holds a solution
within some long forgotten memory

I sit and ponder the thought
in my own time
and sure enough
I find myself in yet another world
Some past life that remembers me

The first thing I noticed
was the rain
Little droplets of life
light and warm
tapping every part of me
Soaking me with its welcome

It was a world of lush greens
and verdant trees
filled with flourishing fruits
thriving on the ends of limbs and vines

Not far from me was a half buried horse
dead and decaying in the dirt
Although I didn’t know it personally
a part of me still hurt
hoping its end was a merciful one
It must have been there for some time
because a vine was growing around it
its roots running through the lifeless body

Little rivulets from a nearby spring
made from the overflow
no doubt caused by the rain
ran through and around the body and roots
It was a sight to see
both beautiful and morbid
The hallmark of life

For some reason
I had a growing fascination
with the grapes growing on the vine
I didn’t know why
but I picked them
and as I did so
the day began to fade away
I was back in my own time
with a cluster of grapes in hand
which I assume I could use to make wine
I was actually quite surprised
when I realized I had taken them back
I never knew I could do that
then again
I never knew a lot of things
that I know now
And I’m assuming
there are a lot of things
I will never know

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

6. Time Will Tell